The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise

Martin Prechtel's "The Smell of Rain on Dust" is beautiful from its title on through every page. Savor this: "The Sea speaks in a million ways, but the waves always lick the face of our hurt until our real face reappears from beneath." And I ask: Why isn't this book being reviewed in the NY Times? Why isn't Martin Prechtel being interviewed by Charlie Rose? This man is a mental, spiritual and artistic giant. But such is our world. We pretend to value honesty while hiding everything about ourselves.I've learned more about grief than I thought it was possible to know. Yes, one misjudges, perhaps, gets hurt, feels pain and if the betrayal is deep enough, grief ensues or is buried. We all know this. But Prechtel brings us into a kaleidoscopic world of pain we never knew existed, a world that holds the meaning of grief psychologically, politically, financially, historically, mythically and spiritually. He draws us a picture that sparkles of grief's relationship to praise and the saving grace of praise, showing how it spins our big world and our little worlds. He flat out states, ". . . without grief we can never grow ourselves into real people."He points out the relationship between suppressed grief and alcoholism. He homes in on returning vets, stating what I have always secretly believed: we humans are not cut out for such massacres and violence and ugly killings and we will pay for it with our souls. We are actually a gentle species, history notwithstanding. Additionally, Prechtel lays out for us the idea of one family member carrying "the old family grief" and the ramifications of that, a truly fascinating concept. Add in the idea of reincarnation (which he doesn't do) and the family picture becomes a marvel of connections that were heretofore unperceived. He speaks of revenge and its impulse to war, one of the best chapters in the book. He comments, " . . . it is truly nightmarish how easily and how quickly grief can be converted into group-endorsed violence." I think of Israel. I think of all the many Arab tribes, sects and subsects whose sole motivation seems to be revenge for events that sometimes took place hundreds of years ago. Well, every nation has its similar history. 9/11/2001. He remarks, "Revenge took no cultural talent." He understands that people's first reaction is to find and attack what caused their pain. Carefully, he points out, "But to retain revenge instead of going through the gauntlet of the sorrow of grief was too easy and would only 'freeze' grief in its tracks, turning the moment into toxic stone." In his poetic way he tells us something of healing, "But feelings were considered a kind of wind, and there was no need to freeze the wind, but better to thaw the clouds of hate into a rain of tears that fed the thirsty ground of the human soul."There is not one bonafide therapist out there who would not profit from reading this deep little book -- and then be able to pass their knowledge on to their patients. Back to the Arabs. Arabic culture, for those of you who do not know, is a deeply poetic culture, filled with admirers of Rumi and Hafiz. If I had a million bucks I'd print Prechtel's book in a mix of Arabic and drop it by airplane on every Arabic country. Killing your fellow-man would look a lot less appetizing and suicide bomber sacrifices would be seen for the insanity they are, and utterly unnecessary for the people would then access their natural wisdom and discover an alternative to fighting, hatred, war and revenge. Please allow me my little fantasy.The chapter on money as "grief not listened to" was a real eye-opener. But however interesting it was, I confess some of it flew over my head. I would have profited by a much longer chapter with more nitty-gritty examples. Though the book is only 170 pages long, every page holds gems of high value. His take on science made me laugh and nod, even as both he and I have respect for what it can do: "Science is basically a cult of measurement." I also loved his teachings about "real people." I wish there had been more of this as well. Regarding what a "real person" is, I felt a gut-level agreement as I read, "a person who knows that all the world's weather wildness is the grief-binge of the Earth herself as she wanders singing, howling, weeping through the streets of her own village: 'the universe,' in hopes of being heard."As he connects us to the beautiful partnership between grief and praise (teaching me once again the truth that the Universe is a loving place whose structure is always geared to healing and love and wholeness, despite appearances) he cautions us, "If the way we live does not praise life, then we are not alive." I thought about that in my own life and I saw, after a little resistance, that it was true. We are half-dead and dying when we fail to see how beautiful and valuable we are, how beautiful and valuable our enemies are and what the world needs to become the paradise we have all, in our secret dreams, envisioned and hoped it to be. It needs us. All of us. Voices raised in appreciation for it ALL.Martin Prechtel is a "savior" of the first order. I've read most of his books, innocent and profound, joyful and full of despair, but in the end he saves us from our selves in the only way one can be saved: not by power, not by money, not by safety, not by government or corporation, not even by therapy, but by that inward turning we all must do, facing our darkness, diving in and coming out the other side into the bright light of love, truth, healing and joy. It takes courage to do this, far more courage than quitting a job or relationship, having a child, going to war, moving across the world, or finding yourself in a disastrous flood or earthquake. Inner pain is the only demon life gives us. May you have the courage to face it. May this be your fate!

My beloved husband died and I took a "grief" course which didn't help, but they recommended this book, which I bought and read it in one day. I couldn't put it down. It was like balm on the open wound of my broken heart. Yes, it's okay, recommended even to howl at the heavens and cry like a banshee, those tears are what propels your beloved to the next level, and demonstrate to the universe how perfectly splendid was this thing you lost. I stopped apologizing for crying and I started talking about him ALL THE TIME. I had already started writing a book about him, but Prechtel admonishes not to do it for fame or money, just do it for the beauty of it all and it changed the way I was approaching that as well. I would like to thank the author for his wisdom and for sharing it in such an accessible way.

On my list of favorite books now. Beautuful to listen to as authors voice has a rhythm and tone that draws you in . Grieving with the support of our tribe or village is critical to healing. I gained insight affirmation and gems of wisdom to strengthen me and to share with others. As so many of us are experiencing the world chaos and devastated by the cruelty exhibited by so many it is helpful to know the power and necessity to honor our grief collectively. Also to strive to gain an understanding that the violent and abusive and harmful behaviors we see in ourselves and others stem from a lack of support for healing of all that was endured and not fully grieved with unconditional love.Beautifully written.

Just beginning to read at suggestion of a favorite Rabbi and the selections he has shared and the ones I have read on my own have brought tears to my eyes because of their healing potential and the wisdom contained. Transform your grief with this important accompaniment on your journey through grief.

Yet another title on that long list of books that would never have been on my radar but for the recommendation of a respected friend: and what a surprise this one turned out to be. In short, Prechtel's book is a treatise on grieving properly and grieving well those losses of who or what we love. The basic thesis here is that grief exercised intentionally is a life-giving act of praise. That is, praise for the life that has been lost and praise for the blessing and joy of being alive in a world of beauty that allowed such a relationship (with the grieved) to exist in the first place. The author draws on the grief and mourning rituals of indigenous cultures to craft a philosophy of grieving that is equally attractive for its life-giving emotional blessings and off-putting for its complicated methodology and unfamiliarity with contemporary culture. I was fascinated with the way Prechtel's wisdom resonated with me and how intrigued I was by details of a tradition that was so spectacularly novel and strange. I will be thinking about this book for a long time, as there is very little chance I will quickly forget such a thought-provoking treatment of a universal experience.

This book offers a beautiful discourse on the grief process. I gift this book to friends, clients, anyone who is frozen in trauma and has unprocessed grief. It is wonderful tool to use with guided work. I have been gifting this book via audible and was very excited to find this available in hardcopy.

Each chapter was a deep dive into the very soul of every human and explained eloquently the passion and beauty of grief! I was so enlightened realizing that all the tears I have ever cried, were so much more than just me being weak but a praise to the human spirit! I was nicknamed ““Crybaby” as a child and I would cry as if any sadness in the world was mine never knowing it was for the payment of those souls my father may have ended as aMilitary man! He died of a heart attack so young! Definitely a book I will read over and over because the layers are so deep and transformative! Thanks and praise to the author for this supernatural transformative experience!!