Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines

As most have mentioned here, this is a great companion read to Nic's father's account of the family issues in his book Beautiful Boy. I think what makes this worth reading, is that you get the full perspective here and much more depth about what was really going on with Nic during the times his family was wondering and worrying. Nic also accurately portrays the disease of addiction, the cravings, the flawed thinking about doing things differently. More importantly, I think there is a clear picture from Nic of the suffering he experienced as a child, going back and forth between his parents, and the issues with his stepfather are made clear as well. In David's book these issues are mentioned and emphasized, but they lack the personal perspective of what the child experienced. This book answers many of the unknowns if David's book and really captures the suffering that lead to the addiction. Addressing the critical concerns: 1. I suggest all folks ignore some of the first pages of the writing style, as the writing skill progresses through the book and the style eases up with the "you knows", "or whatevers", and such. I almost didn't keep reading, but I was glad I did as the author proves himself to be a fine writer, capturing his personal development (or lack thereof) at any given time. I am not sure why the editor did not edit these out, as the work would be more appealing to a broader audience without those forms of common speech embedded. 2. The name dropping, knowing famous people: unfortunately I think this is normal for a lot of people in LA (yes I used to live there) and becomes part of the culture there. I personally think Nic is able to recognize in this work how the allure of "being someone" drew him in, mostly due to his own inadequacies (whether recognized in the moment, he seems to me to clearly reflect this as an issue he addresses in recovery). 3. Ethical concerns about disclosure: I teach ethics and actually I would be okay with the disclosure about his relationship(s) given the assumption that anybody deemed as identifiable was aware and granted permission. I think maybe this didn't happen. Again, this should be part of the publishing and editing process, so I personally would not hold Nic alone overly accountable to this. I was not able to identify anybody specifically, but I assume others in circles in LA may have been able to do so. 4. Lack of maturity in the writing, Nic's apparent selfishness, etc: I agree with some of this, but I actually think it is great because it shows Nic's arrested development which is related to his illness and life traumas. The idea of this book is to provide insight to others on the life of a young addict and if you think he portrays himself as superficial and immature, that is in part due to the reality of his illness and his traumas. 5. Redundancy: yes Nic is in and out of rehab. Yes you know each time he relapses it will end in big bad failure. Yes it gets old, but I think this is part of the accuracy of the portrayal of his life. These repetitions are needed to convey the pain and suffering of the repeated suffering of the addict. 6. Nic's writing skills: room for growth and I can see where the slang and rawness of his approach may bother some folks, but it read real to me given his development when he was writing this. I think his writing skills also reflect a lot about his generation. I think he is also emulating many of the authors he finds inspiring. I am wishing Nic, David, and family some peace, ease, and joy in their life and I hope that they both continue on their healing journey. It's an everyday commitment to healing and everyday new opportunities arise for growth. ~Carey S Clark, PhD, RN, AHN-BC, RYT

Having just finished "Beautiful Boy" recently I had to move on to "Tweak" and close the chapter of Nic and his father and their experiences with drug addiction. Tweak is written by Nic Sheff who is the son of David Sheff. David wrote "Beautiful Boy which I talked about a couple of weeks ago. Tweak takes a slice of the time period from "Beautiful Boy" and tells his perspective as the drug addict giving a depiction of his experiences firsthand. The two books together give you an interesting dual viewpoint of a time period as you understand the turmoil that the father encounters and now the conflicting feelings that Nic felt as he experienced life as a drug addict. Finding himself in a downward spiral with nothing to grab to stop his fall, Nic experiments at a young age quickly moving to hard drugs and at one point is willing to inject or ingest anything that is within reach. He loses ties with all his family members and friends as he steals and lies his way through several rehabs only to relapse back into the seedy world of addicts. Having no money and nowhere to live at points in his life he resorts to prostitution to pay for his habit doing whatever it takes to scrape together enough money for the next day's high. As in most cases (I am guessing) Nic has to find out that while addiction is a disease he must also deal with his personal feelings and reasons behind why he became addicted in the first place. His self image and lack of self worth play such a role in needing the drugs to keep him feeling like he is capable of dealing with normal life situations. His parents have to deal with the roles that they played in setting the foundation of Nic's psychological foundation and struggle with second guessing what they could have done differently to build a healthier environment. In the end it is Nic's life and no matter what happened in his childhood he is the one that has to deal with where he is and make the decision to like himself enough to pull out of the world he has become so accustom. The story is again a difficult one to read but it is such a must for anyone who has children nearing their teen years and beyond. Drugs are so prevalent in our society and I personally feel until we realize this and embrace dealing with the temptations head on we will continue to struggle with our children's temptations. I am making my fifteen year old daughter read this and would strongly encourage anyone with children who has not read these two books to do so. "Tweak" is a little choppy at times in the writing style but the emotion that the book is written with is so abundantly genuine that it reads adequately enough to bring the story across. You find yourself rooting for Nic while at the same time loathing who he is and what he has become. Like all parents I would find it difficult to let go and push my child out of my life but in the world of drug addiction there is only one person that can decide on changing and that is the addict themselves. Hopefully Nic finds his way and the family can heal. I would rate this book as a must read.

I read and listened to both Tweak and his father's book Beautiful Boy and they were excellent. My only reason for removing a star is because I feel all audiobooks should be read by the author whenever possible to be more authentic and genuine.

First off, I should say that I'm not one of those "I read it cover to cover in one day" kind of readers. I hear people say "I couldn't put it down" when describing a book and wonder what kind of life - obviously devoid of things needing to be DONE - they live. That said, I read "Tweak" - cover to cover - in one day. I couldn't put it down. I've had friends addicted to meth. I know that meth's grip is insidious and tenacious - that the predictable and almost-methodical way it destroys everything in a person's life is almost viral in nature. But seeing this "inside look" at how a meth addict perceives his addiction, his drug, his life, and the destruction of everything perceived as valuable - occurring right before his eyes... it's a compelling, haunting narrative. The most striking thing for me in Nic's story is how at the very bottom - when virtually all is lost - the only thing that remains is the most sober of thoughts: "it's time to get clean". And at a time and in a condition where no hidden reservoirs of strength remain, the fight of a lifetime begins. Watching Nic's recovery is like watching the heroine in a horror flick walk (usually backwards... go figure) into a closet where the slasher villain is lying in wait to kill her. You recognize the villain and the precariousness of the situation long before Nic does - and you're screaming "don't go in there" - because by this point, you see how far he's come and you're rooting for him to make it and you see the disaster about to happen. It's interesting that Nic's father (who also writes "the parent's perspective" of his son's addiction in Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Meth Addiction ) is involved in the production of horror movies, because his story has so many elements of a great horror movie. There are many heroes in this story aside from Nic - his family and his sponsor (Spencer) chief among them. To open yourself up to participating - emotionally investing - in a life with someone who repeatedly has shredded all sense of normalcy, safety and comfort - that takes a healthy dose of courage, perseverance, and love. Those are the hallmarks of every great hero, and his father, step-mother, mother, sponsor (and his wife) bear all of these hallmarks. Read this book to reaffirm your faith in the strength of the human spirit - its dogged determination to survive, its desire to thrive and its capacity to forgive. Give this book to the young people in your life to instill an honest, powerful image of how drugs can destroy a life and inflict pain and sadness on everyone connected to that life. But be prepared to lose a day, because you're not going to want to put it down.

I ordered it for my college-age son. Having recommended it to him in the past, he decided to take his mother’s advice about reading this poignant memoir. If ever there was a warning from someone’s experience not to use drugs, this would likely scare most kids into making wise decisions. Although Nic Sheff’s father’s “Beautiful Boy” also shares the experience through a father’s harrowing journey in getting his son back from the viselike grip of addiction, there is something even more truly frightening reading it from the drug user’s own unfiltered voice. Anyway, my son agreed that it was a great read. He has no interest in reading “Beautiful Boy”. 😆

Granddaughter loved this book, she was interested

Let me first say that the people who inspire me the most are those that have been able to overcome addiction. Beautiful Boy was a worthwhile book to read for those who have had or have loved ones struggling with addiction and it led me to read Tweak. Even though Tweak was written from a more first hand point of view, I felt that Beautiful Boy (possibly because of a more experienced author) was better written. Tweak was an easy read, but to me it lacked any real emotion. You get the sense that the author is somewhat glamorizing the addicted lifestyle and there is a sense of wanting to go back. Of course, this is a "normal" part of dependency, but maybe the lack of true regret is what is missing. Because of this I can't recommend this book for younger audiences, and like others I am a little surprised that it is marketed as a young adult selection. I suppose like any 20 something writing a memoir, the book lacks a sense of closure. What I expected was a story of "I used, I quite, I'm better now and here is how you can be too". This is not that type of book, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, but it may be discouraging for those looking for "answers". Nic doesn't ever seem to identify the source of his addiction. Is it the bipolar, the somewhat troubled childhood, the desire for approval by others, or the briefly alluded to (but apparently very impacting) sexual abuse? And that is what is frustrating about the book. I personally could use less of the details of who he knows and how they tried to become dealers and such and such and more details on how he got to that point of such heavy usage. Lastly, the writing style starts to grate by the end of the book. We get that he is "really really sorry" over and over again, but doesn't seem to really, really be able to show a deeper remorse than that. He ends with agreeing with his parents and therapist that he needs to stay away from LA And San Francisco, but in the epilogue he is writing from Hollywood. Huh? The constant language gets old as well, and it will remind you of listening to a group of "hipster" teenagers speak- over exaggerations and constant 4 letter usage. To hip to stay sober perhaps? I hope not. What I liked about the book was some of the same things I didn't like. The book is very open ended, so it could be great for group discussions. And I liked the writing style -at first. Also, I noticed Nic's blog stopped being updated in December 2011. Is Nic serious about staying sober? Only Nic can answer that and it seems like in the book he doged the question. Its hard to get a feel from his writing either way, but you will end up hoping that somehow he finds a way to beat his addiction.

This was a helpful resource to understanding the struggle for a family member going down this path. I had little to no understanding about drugs, addiction, and the hold they can have on someone and this book really helped to clarify some of those things.